Dont worry Kathleen it wasnt just sat night, its been coming for awhile. Ever since we took that break we have been going back and forth about what to do. We just got so used to eachother, but it doesnt mean we are a great couple, we could be great friends. He wasnt willing to put in the work to make it a great relationship and i was tired of doing too much. Ever since the summer there has been too many changes for the both of us it was hard to concentrate on a relationship as well, it became more of a giant security blanket but nt a healthy one. so it dragged on because we didnt want to let go.
Yesterday was really hard, but today feels so much better, there is a lot of shit off my shoulders and my head is clear. im not worrying about what hes doing or how to keep him happy, but i can finally just deal with it. before there were lots of thoughts liek okay if we break up ths weekend... but if we are still together... i dont want to talk bad about him because we really did make each other really happy, there is just no way it can work out in the long run the way it was going. so the chances of getting back togetehr are slim, its all on him and if he changes, which i doubt. He isnt close to his parents and is selfish in an only child way, when im really close to my family and it refected on the way we treated eachother.
He is a great guy and im sure we will get back to being friends someday. i just dont want to push it. and thank for all of your support!!! im hanging out with my mom this weekend, kathy i might take you up on that ice cream offer tonight my dads driving to union station to pick up my mom. I will definatley take all of your offers to hang out i could use the friendly company, and i have the best plans ever next weekend... its Bill's birthday. Let me make it clear to all I WILL NOT HOOK UP WITH BILL. He deserves better than my rebound fun. even though i know we are getting married it can wiat a couple of months.
How can you not know who Anthony is???? Hes only like the best singer/dancer/song writer of all time... i spent all of Hawaii reading his autobiography!!!! hes like god in a seger way but with drugs not alcohol.
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